


5x Showdown Combo Karkat POV, "Dead Trolls Walking"

by olympianInsomniac



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Act Five (Homestuck), Act Five Act Two (Homestuck), Gen, Homestuck - Freeform, Minor Terezi Pyrope/Karkat Vantas, POV First Person, POV Karkat Vantas, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Sober Gamzee Makara, Subjuggulator Gamzee, Trolls (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16091396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olympianInsomniac/pseuds/olympianInsomniac
Summary: An insight into the type of thoughts that might've been running through Karkats head during the end of the Murderstuck plotline.





	5x Showdown Combo Karkat POV, "Dead Trolls Walking"

He's being a stupid piece of shit, as usual- he should know better than to be this hopeful. Almost everyone who's still alive is back together though and that's reason to believe they might stay that way, right?

So he follows Kanaya's light like a moth after a flame. A thought that amuses him briefly, thinking of the lusus she'd shown him pictures of. Just like the rest of the group.  
For just a few moments, he manages to fool himself into thinking things might turn out alright. 

Even with Vriskas dead body a few feet away from them.

Despite Eridan, Equius, Feferi, Nepeta and Tavros being dead as well- at least those here now are still alive.

Then what he's been dreading happens.

Another voice joins their hushed tones. It's fluctuating between quiet breathiness and an obnoxious loudness to surpass his own and they have no choice but to turn and regard it. Even Sollux, newly blind as he is.

That's when Karkat gets what he's been expecting. As always, shit is about to hit the proverbial whirling device.

Gamzee rises up before them, head held high and for once standing completely straight. It reminds Karkat of a spider unfolding its legs.

It also reminds him of the fact that Gamzee is easily the tallest fucking troll among them.

He's got Egbert's ridiculous Warhammer of Zillyhoo hefted up in his hands and the contrast between a stark blacks, whites and grey figure holding an absolute rainbow of colors looks downright cartoonish.

It's so uniquely Gamzee for him to not care about how silly the weapon with which he's threatening to kill them all looks.

As much as he hates to admit it, it's so uniquely fucking terrifying. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding his breath until he exhales.

This is why Karkat can't blame those he knows what they do, for once.

Terezi is pulling her cane sword apart and when he turns to look at the other two, Kanaya has wrenched herself away from Sollux so she can brandish her chainsaw instead.

Sollux is swearing loudly as he tries his best to conjure up the usual psionic powers and fails miserably. 

It seems the loss of his vision has cut off his juice too and that of all things has Karkat realizing shit is not only going to hit the whirling device but it might also do so in a way that might result in them losing this fight.

Karkat loves them both and knows exactly how tough they are but for all of Kanaya and Terezis tenacity, Gamzee is most likely going to wipe the floor with them even if Karkat tries to help. It's not a lack of faith to see that as the outcome, it's just the way the scales are tipped.

Terezi would appreciate that. 

He'd never say it to Sollux's face, fuck knows they don't need his ego getting even bigger than it already is but his best usually is THE best and if it isn't here? They're fucked. 

Seeing him struggle like that, arms shaking and his eyes burnt out as Gamzees laugh rings loud and clear is defeating in a way that makes Karkats stomach drop- as usual, these aren't high prospects.

For fucks sake, Kanaya had just been dead, lifeless in front of him just a few hours ago, only to come back as one of the rainbow drinkers she loves so much.

He briefly wonders how Terezi feels being in FLARP gear just a few feet away from Vriska's corpse.

They look even goofier than usual and even sadder than usual, they're all battle-scarred except for him. As he turns back to Gamzee with a vice grip on his sickle, his mind goes to where it almost always does- something the person in front of him had said before.

He thinks of how Gamzee had asked if he could help him "get his reconsider on" about going through with all of this.

That thought has Karkat blinks and thank the gods, his thinkpan supplies him with one of those sudden realizations. The ones that allow him to cut through the murky panic of unknown situations and force a solution.

Gamzee had been taunting him constantly and god, he's not going to take that from Gamzee fucking Makara of all trolls. Whether he's the last heir to the Subjuggulators and whatever the fuck or not. 

High blooded bastard has finally descended to the level of murderousness his caste is usually stereotyped for having? Then he can go fuck himself. He's finally warranted Karkats /actual/ hatred instead of the usual piss act he puts on.

He thinks of how Gamzee had asked him if he was next.

Despite the fact he's gone all murderous contempt about all of them, Gamzee has been focusing on Karkat the most- which has Karkat realize he's probably the only one who could get close enough to end this.

Maybe he WILL be next. If he is, he's going to be the last in line though. He might die, Gamzee might die; maybe both of them will, but not any of the other miserable fucks.

The two of them have been dancing around each other like dead trolls walking for the last couple of hours, but the others…

They are worth something.

He won't allow any more of them to get killed, he's taking care of this himself. 

Even if Gamzee kills him, he'll make sure he's left weak enough for someone else to finish him off. 

Determined as he feels that all familiar feeling of responsibility for everything that's happened, ever, he steps forward with his sickle raised.

Kanaya is moving forward as well and speaks up clearly. Of course she out of everyone here would notice the set of his body- she asks if they can resolve this peacefully. If she can auspistice for the two of them.

This isn't blackrom though- he hates Gamzee but it's no kismesis if the dislike isn't tempered by respect. This is strictly platonic. There’s nothing positive to the brutality he brought to Nepeta and Equius, or to Vriska through way of Terezi. 

The thought of that has him smile briefly- he's having one of those brief, shining moments where he feels actual righteousness. Despite his posturing with either boasts or self insults, it's not often that Karkat is really feeling anything but unsure.

Right now, the clarity has washed out the adrenaline. Time to grab your bone bulge and act, bitch.

Stupidity doesn't suit Kanaya- he needs to shut her up, so he walks up to her first, closing his eyes. This feels right, what he's doing- he's doomed anyway, just like so many things in Paradox Space are. That's okay. As long as he can keep a few pieces of it that aren't him safe for a while longer.

He loves them all so much.

He reaches up and gently pats at her cheek. 

"I'VE GOT THIS, KANAYA."

When he opens his eyes, the next sight in his vision is Terezi there holding her sword. The usual shark-toothed grin has been replaced by a scowl, and she asks him if he's really going to let blackrom play out between himself and Gamzee, right now, without an auspistice.

If "YOU 4R3N'T GO1NG TO M4K3 TH3 CLOWN F4C3 JUST1C3 FOR H1S BLOOD1ED H4NDS 4ND K1LL H1M R1GHT TH1S 1NST4NT, I SW34R 1'LL K1LL BOTH OF YOU, K4RK4T."

God, he respects her constant surety despite her insecurity, her righteous passion. He's going to miss her for the next few minutes of his life. Seer of Mind his ass though, she like all of them is so stupid he could almost want to let her get killed.

This isn't going to be him and Gamzee going on a goddamned hate date.

It's him taking out the trash. This is fucking garbage day. 

Stepping over to Terezi, Karkat just slaps her cane sword out of her hand. Screw her and that cute vanity, he knows she can "see" just fine without it.

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." 

Karkat looks at her for a moment, smiling a little despite himself. Of course, this would be how the two of them say goodbye- without another word said. At least he's going to give her a show. There are two clowns about to face off here, after all.

Once he gets one more person out of the way.

Sollux's turned the wrong way and talking to Makara's new doll of all fucking things, convinced it's Karkat with his new blindness.

Karkat just shakes his head, deciding he won't dignify the last joke he sees in his life with a response. Sollux is occupied and out of harms way and that's all that really matters.

Now it's just him and Gamzee, as it had been this entire time. Even if the others wanted to form a little circle and pretend they were actually a part of this they never were and now they know they aren't.

Kanaya knows he's about to try something and like always, has the good grace to actually trust him to that. He loves her.

Terezi is disarmed, as she needs to be to not interfere in a situation. He loves her.

Sollux is occupied with something else, the only thing that could keep him from tackling a problem. He loves him.

Karkat steps forward and suddenly he breaks into a run, tearing himself away from them.

Gamzee moves forward too, and then they're both standing there with just a small expanse between them.

Karkat scowls as he looks back into the other trolls eyes- for once they're wide open and his smile is bigger than he's ever seen it. He's terrified of it and feeling the hate and the fear hard.

He can't show that he's scared though- it'll all be over if he does and anyway, he refuses to. 

So he stands tall and holds his sickle up. Someone who's been honored to be called a leader should damn well act like one, even after completely failing at it.

Gamzees grin widens somehow, like this is all the funniest thing in the world and then deliberately hunches over a little so he can look up and give Karkat a stare straight from the playbook of Troll Hannibal Lector. 

Raising the enormous hammer over his head, he mirrors Karkat as he keeps his weapon poised. His face says it all before he even speaks.

"COME ON, MOTHERFUCKER."

That's what stops him. His friend using that goddamn favorite phrase of his.

Even if Gamzee has gone batshit insane, even if he's killed, this is still the troll who loves his jokes. This is still Gamzee Makara. 

How the hell is Karkat going to kill him, even if it would protect the rest of his friends? Gamzee is his friend too.

He stands there, breathing heavily and god, he knows he can't fuck up and hesitate now. Everyone's life is on the line. It's just that Karkat has suddenly realized that he can't see it as "everyone's" life and not include Gamzee's on the list too.

Yeah, he's killed and that's unforgivable. It doesn't mean he deserves the same in return, though. He still doesn't deserve being treated like an animal. 

Nobody does.

Constantly being under threat for culling makes you look down on the idea of bringing the hammer down on anyone else, a feeling that Karkat usually thinks is a weakness of his.

Right now though, faced with this shit in reality? 

Fuck, he can try but he doubts he'll really be able to do this. 

If he does, it'll just end up yet another regret to carry for his whole life even if that only lasts for a few more minutes. No matter how anybody tries to say he did right, he'll KNOW he did wrong here.

Gamzee is a highblood, it's a biological fact of their nature that some of them are going to go bugfuck crazy. The fucker shouldn't be taken to task for something he can't handle. No one should.

It wasn't his fault he came off of the sopor. 

Fuck, he needs to think quickly. What can he do, what the HELL can a random, worthless piece of shit nobody like him do to combat withdrawal from a drug that someones depended on for almost their entire life to bury their hurricane of feelings?

Karkat has never relied on anything but himself and to his regret, his friends, to do that. Living life is his drug as much as it's the sickness afflicting him, not that he'd ever admit to the former.

What can he do to combat someone having an existential crisis after losing their religion? He's made thousands of jokes about it but Karkat knows that Gamzees faith is something the troll carries deep in his heart. A shield just as much as his sopor, jokes, and glib attitude to redirect the pain. 

Karkat has never believed in anything except existence itself, the necessity of sneaking around to get through it and maybe other trolls. He doesn't know what it's like to lose faith, he never had any of his own to begin with.

What can he do to combat someone who'd grown up lonely and wrong because of a lusus that was barely ever there for them? Actually having a decent lusii was one of the only things that had gone right in Karkats life- he doesn't know what the pain from not being taken care of is like.

What can he do when someone who's raised by the culture to believe he's better than everyone else finally loses God and his drugs, the fog lifting for him to think hey, maybe I am better? I must be, I feel so much pain looking around at everything.

Karkat hates the hemospectrum and how it tries to divide them but he's not used to Gamzee feeling anything but the same discomfort at it. 

He might be able to talk but he can't talk Gamzee into going against the only thing he's clinging to, like the survivor of a shipwreck adrift at sea and clinging unto the only piece they have left.

What can he do to combat Gamzee losing Tavros, the troll he'd loved most out of any of them? That'd been his heart. 

With Terezi at their side to stand witness to all of this and hopefully go unharmed, Karkat can't help but feel his own beat heavy.

Gamzee could never think anything less of the lower spectrums while Tavros was alive and he's fucking dead.

Out of nowhere, Karkat suddenly thinks of Egbert.

He thinks of Egbert and how he actually condescended to tell the human that Kanaya was one of his best friends.

Fuck, as much as he would hate to admit it, half of the trolls he knows are his best friends. Kanaya, Eridan, Sollux, Terezi and-

Gamzee.

Gamzee, the only one of them who not only thought the same way but actually bothered to use the phrase every other conversation even as Karkat always made fun of him for it.

Gamzee, who Karkat had thought of as an "idiot" whose messages he only ''tolerated."

Gamzee, who had continued to send said those messages despite the fact Karkat swore up and down he hated him.

He'd been enough of a douchebag to think Gamzee was the stupid one, he's so unappreciative and Gamzee Makara suddenly doesn't look scary at all.

Even with all he's done, Gamzee Makara no longer looks hateable or like someone who is an idiot. 

Hiding from the toxicity of their horrible fucking culture by drowning himself in the toxicity he himself could create, he suddenly looks very, very intelligent in the saddest fucking way. 

In Karkats eyes he suddenly looks kind of noble.

He looks pitiable and suddenly Karkats eyes are full of diamonds. He's pitied and respected Gamzee, he always has and he always will.

This troll has never, ever been a clown to be laughed at and despite his sudden urge to play it, he'll never be a Subjuggulator to be feared either. 

Sure, his facepaint looks more like warpaint now and Karkat bets the other troll feels like sopor is coming out of his every pore but he's still just standing there.

Swaying back and forth a little- as much as Gamzee has suddenly gone all hemocasteist, he's still waiting for a mutanblood to make the first move.

He's still just a pitiable piece of shit, a best friend who can't do anything right, not even murder. 

Of course he would. Of COURSE, he would fucking wait because that's all he's been doing this whole time, isn't it. Gamzee, who he'd thought of as some fool with their head in the clouds has been truly desperate enough to rely on Karkat to offset some dark shit and real enough to recognize Karkat as having his own and loving enough to know he needs his offset too.

Without admitting to any of it for sweeps. Playing the clown he'd know Karkat would be all too happy to see him as.

Either to save Karkat the trouble or to save himself from heartache, he'd never said a word.

Gamzee fucking pities him too and has probably done so the entire time they'd known each other.

This entire thing hasn't just been him playing with his head. If Gamzee really wanted to kill him and Sollux, he fucking well would have. This was a cry for help and suddenly Karkat gets it.

Equius had been quite literally asking Gamzee for it for sweeps and Nepeta was going to kill him. Karkat can't forget those two but he thinks he can forgive it if they'll be the last. 

As always, he could hit himself for how stupid he's been but he's not the troll who needs that right now.

This is going to end right here. He's going to see if he's right and that nobody else has to die today.

Or he'll find out he's wrong and he'll either have to kill Gamzee, Gamzee will kill him or they'll both die.

Either way, Karkat has made his decision to check and do his best with whichever the truth is. 

This won't be a problem either way, right? Fuck it.

Biting his lip to keep himself quiet, he starts running forward again and jumps, sickle raised above his head. Gamzee raises his hammer in response and Karkat knows he has a second, just a second to bring the sickle over his head and-

In one fluid movement, he curls the end of it around Gamzee's hammer and gives as much of a push as he can, knocking both of their weapons away.

The other troll growls and pushes him away, balling his hands into fists as he strides forward.

So obviously intent on pounding Karkat into the fucking ground.

That's when Gamzee speaks.

"oh…"

"MY CANDYBLOODED BROTHER."

"dont think you got whats really going to happen here all up in your in your headspace right now

THIS SHIT IS GOING TO END RIGHT HERE

im going to kill you like any other animal

TEAR YOU APART LIMB FROM MOTHERFUCKING LIMB

and then. 

ALL OF OUR WICKED BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE GOING TO WATCH THAT RED SLUDGE OF YOURS EXPLODE EVERY WHICH MOTHERFUCKING WAY

before i paint them in it."

Threatened with death.

The mutation he does well enough despising all on his own insulted by someone else.

The thought of that horrible blood exposed for everyone to see. Pride and shame well up in Karkat in equal measure and he swears his vision DOES go red for a second.

He hopes Kanaya, Sollux and especially Terezi think this is really cool because he feels like he's about to shit his pants.

"NO, GAMZEE. YOU'RE NOT."

Gamzee stops at that and narrows his eyes.

"who's going to fucking stop me?" he asks, traces of disgust and amusement in his voice as he stares the shorter troll down.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK, ASSHOLE? I'M THE ONE STANDING HERE IN FRONT OF YOU. LISTEN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU THINK I OF ALL PEOPLE DON'T GET THAT YOU'RE HURTING RIGHT NOW?

YOU NEVER HAD YOUR LUSUS AND NOW YOU'VE LOST YOUR GODS AND YOUR SOPOR AND IT HURTS. 

TAVROS IS FUCKING DEAD, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU AND EVERYTHING ELSE MUST BE COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT BECAUSE THE GUILT AND GRIEF HURTS SO MUCH. I OF ALL TROLLS GET THAT, OKAY?

I COULDN'T GIVE LESS OF A SHIT IF I TRIED THOUGH, IF IT MEANS YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO KILL ANY MORE THAN YOU HAVE, GAMZEE.

YOU'RE BETTER THEN THIS AND YOU KNOW IT. IF YOU LOVED HIM AT ALL YOU'D ACKNOWLEDGE THAT INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE A PSYCHOTIC CHILD!"

The other troll says something about the audacity of that and then gives a loud roar of outrage, the loudest Karkat has ever heard in his life. He's never heard anything like it in his life. It is pure animal.

Gamzee's putting the full force of his Chucklevoodoos into it, his horns singing like how Karkat imagines angels would at the end of the world.

Welp. He's going to turn Karkat into a gibbering mess and then kill him. That's how he always expected it to end, really. 

He really wants Gamzee to just shut up instead, though. 

It takes every ounce of concentration Karkat has to put a shaking hand out and place it on his old friend's chest.

Then he brings the other one up to his mouth and instead of punching, pushing or pulling, he shooshes him gently.

Gamzee stares down, uncomprehending and Karkat takes advantage of the confusion to bring his hand from Gamzee's chest up to his cheek, drawing it downward nice and slow, careful to avoid the one scar under his eye. He starts moving back and forth, being as gentle as he can.

The taller troll starts to growl and then he's roaring again, fangs bared-

But Karkat brings a hand right up to those huge fangs, and another to his own mouth- shooshing him once more. Again and again, he feels over his friend's (hopefully, his moirails) face and body, hands stroking so gently, and it's quiet- so fucking quiet compared to how he usually is.

They're not going to die today, then?

Eventually, Gamzee gives in, and they just stare at each other. Then they're both moving at once and their arms wrap around each other and-

Hugging him feels like coming home.

<>


End file.
